hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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