I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
