Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pappa wants mamma naked
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
