Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
