In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
