so explain again why im purple
no
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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