I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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