I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize