Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
