she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
