the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
