why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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