a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
