i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
