If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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