Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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