i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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