This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They took my balls.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
