You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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