Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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