One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
