It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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