Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My first STD was from a foam party
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
