OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
