You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
