the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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