ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
