3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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