eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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