Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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