Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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