I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
