respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
