I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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