I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
