You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i believe in u and ur pee
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
