1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
