Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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