The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
