its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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