Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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