I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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