What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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