u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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