oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
