You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
