if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
