her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
