careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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