I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
