Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
