his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
