I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
