Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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