help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
