Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
