if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
