Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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