Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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