In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
