can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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