Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
