clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize