As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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