I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
