found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
