Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
